Rosa Lilian

Rosa was an energetic, loving 16 year-old girl who most impressed me with how she cared for her 5 siblings here at the Ranch. She was in Inmaculada, the hogar just below mine. She was on my Olimipiadas team two years in a row and part of the soccer team that went to El Salvador. Her family came here during my first visit, and I had a special bond with her because she was also the beloved goddaughter of my dear friend Laura. She always had a smile and a hug for me. We lost Rosa on New Year’s Eve due to a tragic accident at the house in Tegucigalpa.

I knew something was wrong the second I saw Lauren’s face in my doorway. It was 6:00 p.m., and we had all just been called to the church. I made her tell me before we went, but I didn’t process it until Reinhart announced it. I just started crying, sitting next to Estefany and holding hands. We had dinner all together on the courts, but all activities were obviously cancelled. I went immediately to Saravia, knowing she was a stronger person than me, as much for comfort as to make sure she knew how much I loved her, realizing all too vividly how quickly a life can be taken away. She took care of me all night and it struck me how well she knows me. Reinhart gave me the hug only a dad or grandpa can give, made the sign of the cross on my forehead, and gave me permission to cry and not be strong. As always, the volunteers were a source of comfort and strength.

Rosa’s brothers and sisters were all together in Santa María Reina. I went to see my little Gabi, “mi hija” and the youngest, who still didn’t understand what had happened. The oldest, Eda, has cerebral palsy and is unable to really walk or talk. I can’t express what it was like to hear to her utter despair as she cried. I found Deysi inconsolable back at the hogar. She had just come from seeing Bryan at the clinic. Bryan is my godson and, although not officially her boyfriend, in love with Rosa. He was shaking uncontrollably and asking for Deysi to call Rosa and tell her to come. We had to physically restrain him to keep him in the bed. It was horrible. I ended up alone with him in the room and held him in my arms as he sobbed and begged to see her until I coaxed him to sleep. I think the worst, though, was having to call Laura and tell her. I love Laura with all my heart, and it broke me to have to give her the news.

Following dinner, we had rosaries in the chapel every half hour. I sat with my arms around my girls as we prayed for Rosa. They brought her body back to the Ranch at 1:00 in the morning, and a small group of us headed back to the chapel. I can’t begin to describe the grief I saw from her siblings, friends, Stefan, and Tía Mirna who brought Rosa’s family to the Ranch. And I was not prepared to see Rosa. It just wasn’t her underneath that glass, and I had to look a long time to really register that it was her. I’ve never dealt with death like this, and I feel numb. My tears are used up, and I’m left feeling like maybe it was all a bad dream.