Top Ten Signs You’ve Been Ranchified

1)When someone hands you a plastic bag of liquid, you immediately bite off the corner and begin sucking it out in order to drink it.

2)You know the Our Father and Rosary in Spanish, and you’re not Catholic.

3)You fervently believe that hot sauce can make anything taste better.

4)You spit out orange and watermelon seeds on the floor because you know they will get mopped up later.

5)You say any of the following Spanglish phrases: “¿Oh, sí?” “Es tan easy.” “Otro feeling.” “Que big (insert adjective of your choice).”

6)You wear shorts and a shirt over your bathing suit because you have pena about it.

7)You point with your lips.

8)You have a brood of ahijados and consentido/as.

9)You complain about lukewarm showers because they just don’t get you as clean as a cold one.

10)Nothing is more annoying to you than someone ensuciaring your newly mopped floor.